Sunday, 29 May 2011

Tom Watson Winning the 2011 Senior PGA

Tom Watson was the winner of the 2011 Senior PGA Championship at Valhalla. The same Tom Watson who missed a 8 foot par putt on the last hole at the 2009 British Open which would have made him the oldest major championship winner in golf history.

The same Tom Watson who whined about announcer Gary McCord at the 1995 Masters which resulted in McCord kicked out of the Masters broadcasting.

And, for a lesser known fact, the same Tom Watson that was reported to have urinated on Augusta National property in a practice round before the 2011 Masters. Yes, you read that correctly.

Apparently today, Tom Watson had better bladder control. Because Watson had better bladder control, it meant that there wasn't any lucky grasses at Valhalla that got an extra dose of fertilizer, if you know what I mean!

Tom Watson was tied with David Eger after 72 holes. They went into a playoff. Tom Watson felt an urgent desire to take a wazz. His urine would have been great fertilizer for the rough, but Tom decided not to pee in a public property, unlike what he did at Augusta. The grass at Valhalla already had enough moisture because of all the rain earlier in the week. More water from Watson's urine would be extraneous.

Therefore, Watson, holding his urine and trying very hard not to do the potty dance, managed to get through the playoff hole with his pants high and dry. There was no party in his pants. Desperately trying to hold back his weewee, Watson felt his bladder began to put pressure on the lower abdomen. While trying to make the birdie putt on the 18th hole, because his putter was so long, it was applying pressure on his lower abdomen, making it began to hurt. The urine desperately tried to flow out of Tom Watson's putter shaft. But Watson didn't let it bother him. He made the birdie.

After the birdie, he won and had to make a victory speech. By that time, his bladder had accumulated so much weewee that Watson was shaking during the victory speech. However, fortunately for him, people did not suspect that Watson was holding back his peepee. They thought Watson was just emotional because of the win which resulted in him shaking so much.

After the victory speech and the photo pose, Tom Watson make a Usain Bolt-like sprint, dashing towards the washroom. He arrived to the washroom, and the waterfall began flowing from his putter shaft. Soon, the yellow waterworks finally stopped.

Watson walked out of the washroom relieved. He felt like he had won two playoff victories today. One victory over David Eger, and the other victory over the urine in his bladder.

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